You are so cute!

I may be biased.  Ok, I'm certainly 100% blindingly biased.  I think my girls are adorable.  I think they are the cutest, most adorable children ever.  Certainly on the block (sorry, Mo!), of course in all of Boston, and quite possibly across the nation.

And they are cute.  They get told it all the time.  From neighbors, friends, family.  And every time, I beam, and think to myself, "I know, right?! Look how sweet and cute my girls are!"  I'm just so in love with them that I can't help but be proud.

I think they already know what it means to be told, "you're cute".  I think they understand it's a compliment, that the person genuinely is admiring them.  And it's all a very sweet, positive, harmless interaction.

Or is it?  At just under two years old, have I already set up my little girls to value their physical appearance?  Well, yes, I hope so.  Because I do, in fact, want them to value how they look.  I want them to brush their teeth, and comb their hair, and wash their clothes, and all sorts of things that affect how they appear to the world, and quite frankly, how the world sees them.

But I do not want these things to take over, to be valued at the cost of other things.  Kindness.  Empathy.  Creativity.  Confidence.  Where is the balance?  How do you parent little girls?  It has surprised me how early in my girls' life I am already thinking about this.

Lisa Bloom wrote a piece recently and it gave me something to think about.  How to talk to little girls.  (Click the title to read the piece.)

The next time I get together with a friend, who has an adorable, sweet, precious little girl, I'm going to try to curb my "you are so cute" comments.  Because, although I actually do value that little girl's mind over her beauty, those comments roll right off my tongue just as much as they do anyone else's.  I don't think this is limited to girls, either.  I tell little boys they are adorable just as easily.  Kids are adorable.  But more importantly, they pick up on every single thing around them.  What do I want them to pick up from me?