Blame It On the Boogie

Ladies and gentlemen, my wife!  Wow she is a tough act to follow.  I'll take this entry in another direction... you know, show our range as parents.

The scariest part of this season isn't goblins, over-sugared children, pumpkin-spiced everything, or even the proliferation of giant, often shellacked, mutant squash ... it's baby boogers.  While I hesitate to cement my role as "bodily fluids mama," there are some things that should be discussed here.

There are many moments in my life as a young parent (as in new parent, not youthful parent), when I think, "why the hell didn't someone tell me that could happen?"  It is usually in a moment of complete overwhelm or sheer disbelief at something one of our creatures did.  It is a ridiculous notion, because there is too much stuff to tell and there are far too many absurd things that happen.  Still, I think it.

The latest example of this occurred about two days into Em/Emma/Emerson's most recent bout with congestion.  Incidentally, said congestion eventually got to her ear.  Good news is only one of four baby ears need antibiotics thus far.  The first ear infection is something of a right of passage anyway, so check that off!

Here we were at day two, no infection in sight for a while yet.  I go in to collect Em first thing in the morning, roll her over (she's something of a tummy sleeper these days), and the horror scene unfolds.  Sure, they are babies.  Babies can't clear out their noses.  But seriously??? 

Her crib and adorable footie PJs looked like your crazy neighbor's house.  You know the one who gets that weird cotton stuff and craps up her front yard so it looks like "spooky webs" before Halloween?  Apologies if you are that neighbor... I spend a lot of time getting rid of real webs and have yet to embrace what is, essentially, toilet papering your own house for a holiday.  Cutting down a tree and filling it full of junk, though?  That I can get behind!

Anyway, Booger Baby had decorated her own yard (crib)... and it was pretty gross.  Not poo-in-your-armpits gross, but gross nonetheless.  Of course I felt horribly because she had to be pretty congested to spin webs like that... still, WOW.  Seeing as I am not allowed to dunk her I set about the cleaning process, which involved a load or two of laundry and a small army of wipes and tissues.

Hopefully you won't get any booger babies at the door this Halloween because those things are frightening... and, apparently, you can't dunk them. 

In the musical that is my life, this is the soundtrack for my cheerful cleaning in this particular scene.  May it be stuck in your head, like it is in mine.  Cheers!