Toddler fits of rage

As my friend pointed out, they are only funny once they've gone to sleep.

This is what I imagine the explanation of two recent fits would look like.  The toddler brain is a wonder.  This particular post-bath fit went something like this and happened with both children more or less at once.

Em

I don't want to put on my pajamas.
PUT ON MY PAJAMAS NOW.
No, not that leg.
I want the leg on my arm.
I said my ARM. ARM. ARM (whacks me in the head)
(rolling around on the floor for a while)
PUT MY SOCKS ON. TAKE THEM OFF.
PUT THEM ON MY HANDS.
I love gloves!!
RED SOCKS, not blue. (throws blue socks into bath water)
EAT. EAT. EAT.
Leah: Are you hungry?
Noooooooooooooooooooooooo.
BOOP.
Leah: you pooped?
Yeah.
Leah: Let's change your diaper. Wait, you didn't poop.
EAT. EAT.
Leah: Let's brush your teeth.
I love brushing my hair WITH MY TOOTHBRUSH.
Leah: Can you keep the toothbrush on your teeth and not brush your pajamas?
MAMA!!!!!!!!!!!! (whacks me in the head)

Char
Leah: Let's put your diaper on!
Like hell you putting my diaper on! (flops around violently despite me having both ankles in my grips)
I HATE DIAPERS.
Diaper! Diaper! Diaper! Why are you taking so long to put it on? NO. Straps go here!
Leah: Sweet girl, you can't put the diaper straps on your ankles. Or your toes.  Or your head.
HAT. HAT. HAT!
Leah: You want a hat?  Let's put your towel hood on.
(Now she's running around the entire second floor in a diaper and hooded towel. Now she's hiding behind the curtains in the other room.
Leah: Char, time to get dressed.
EMI. EMI. HAT!
Leah: ?
EMI. HAT.
Leah: We can put Emi's hood on later.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Eee-eee, ahh-ah!
Leah: You want a monkey?
Yeah.
Leah: We'll read about monkeys when you finish brushing the tile grout with your toothbrush.

END SCENE